Potentially Poisonous Pinecone
1) Because Leah stayed on the floor in Minneapolis
2) Because Leah went to jail in Nashville for punching out the hair-flicking woman
3) Because we went to the hospital after being suffocated by an afro
4) Because Leah got shot in Atlanta for flipping the bird to the litterer on the highway
5) Because Leah developed Alzheimer’s in the car, threw Monika out, and is still driving in circles around the USA
6) Because Leah decided to quit music and become a mule driver in New Orleans
7) Because Monika got arrested for blinding a Nascar driver on the highway with a loose hair tie thrown out the window
8 ) Because Leah got caught in the crossfire in the apartment complex in Jollyville, Texas
9) Because Leah shot herself in the head sitting in traffic in Austin, Texas
10) Because we were kidnapped by scientologists in Clearwater, Florida
11) Because Leah choked on an apple after unsuccessfully performing the heimlich maneouver against the steering wheel
12) Because Leah and Monika finally DID smash heads
13) Because Monika got a job as an ol’ tyme fotografer in Tombstone, Arizona
14) Because Leah and Monika got jobs with the bearded lady show in Tombstone, Arizona
15) Because Mario the Italian waiter picked us up, one under each arm, and bashed our heads together (in Phoenix, Arizona)
16) Because Leah jumped out of the car and onto a horse, and now she’s working as a cow herd in Sonoita, Arizona
17) Because Monika was knocked unconcious by a fragrant leaf given to her by Bill the Biosphere guide
18) Because Leah got sick of Daniel’s chauvinism and smashed him up. Who does he think he is telling her what to do all the time ?!?!! Turn left, turn right, make a U turn – no more! She is still driving in circles around America.
19) Because Leah got sick of vegetarian food, smothered coconut oil all over Monika, and fried her up as a protein supplement.
20) Because Monika got knocked out by a 10 foot long, 10 pound heavy drink on the Strip in Vegas
21) Because Leah ate egg substitute at IHOP
22) Because Monika licked salt off the ground in Death Valley
23) Because they re-opened Alcatraz and threw us in
24) Because we didn’t wanna go home!!!!
We each have our own wing
